#Without returning to a form at all!

[joffyworld]

Fui Quod Es,

Eris Quod Sum.

It's frighteningly instant,

The jump from reality to some other realm.

One moment I close my eyes;

Hear the faithful's hymns as they condemn me to death.

The next, I open mine own eyes again;

Greeted by some incorporeal realm,

Of which nature I cannot decipher.

I walk seemingly endlessly,

Through the plain plane of white that spans before me.

It engulfs me so thoroughly,

Every step feels purposeless, yet driven onward,

Not by my own initiative,

But by the instincts borne of us all;

To survive no matter the cost.

There's a strange quality to the air,

It flows and sways in ways I cannot quite describe.

There's a cacophony of silence that surrounds:

It confounds my mind and fills my ears,

A painful shriek you feel, not hear.

There is suffering within these arid wastes.

It fills every single step you take.

All it takes is to turn around;

Suddenly greeted by a towering behemoth.

I meandered for what felt like hours,

Most assuredly accompanied by naught but myself,

Only to turn and find:

A shadow in every step,

A demon lurking ever so closely

This creature looks familiar in a way:

Inhumanely humanoid, a giant of no name.

Divining what this thing desires takes no time at all;

But a moment passes by until it calls -

It utters its first words twice over:

"Come closer, come closer,"

"Be not afraid."

"I still have need of you."

It's voice booms so loudly.

Who is this deity who looms?

This deity that lies in chains that bind.

Every word they speak reminds of those,

Who took my head and sought me.

Do I now stand before,

They who commanded my species' doom?

It quickly becomes apparent,

Our predicaments both lie running in tandem.

They, he, is chained just as I was.

It doesn't need to be explained.

There's an unspoken air of desperate confidence in his voice,

The being proposes a choice to which only few would deny:

"I will give you life again."

But every boon has its own burdens.

"All I ask is that you start a cult in my name."

There it is, life as a servant.

A chance to serve a higher purpose faithfully,

To exude a sense of tremendous leadership to the lost.

Like me, the needy, and mundane.

There comes a time in life where one must choose:

To fight or die, to win or lose,

To find the light, to push on through,

To do what must be done for you

To find that hope that time accrues,

The chance to know the highest views

That heal our hearts, and hope renew.

But it's not always so easy to feel.

I stare upon this deity with blood shot eyes

That question what is real.

I gaze upon these two lonesome companions of his

In wonder of how they feel.

I wonder,

"Has a life after death treated them so kindly?"

"Next to this God,

To whom they now kneel?"

Am I a fool for believing in these honeyed words?

For taking heart in this beau ideal?

The forgotten God offers one last refrain,

One last chance to turn away,

"Do we have a deal..?"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Luo Binghe? Sorry, I only know Binghorse now.

[mariocki]

Gareth Thomas returns - still running a car hire service, now inexplicably called Tom Lewis - in Public Eye: The Bankrupt (6.1, Thames, 1972)

[triptychofvoids]

you know the feeling when youve only had one hour of sleep or less and yet youre Very Awake somehow

[candycryptids]

“Please treat your life like I would have.”

“Every night, the same dream, every morning, the same emptiness… what I wouldn’t give for you to still be here.”

Vierapril Day 3: Rest/Wish

Or, rather. The lack of rest? I hope I conveyed that dream sequence of everything feeling Strange and becoming blurry/hazy the more you try to hold onto it.

[laneboyheathens]

depression really does just make every tiny thing feel so much worse why tf am I crying about shoes

[widowshill]

VAMP ROGER AU QUESTION! how would he and barnabas interact together (if they ever interact)? :3 💜

tagging @tortoisesshells because she's my co-conspirator <3

excellent question! this family and their sharp-toothed men will be the death of ... well, several community members of Collinsport, i suppose.

to start — Barnabas gets out of the box slightly differently than in canon, which colors his relationship to Roger and the rest of the household. Roger kills Willie after his attempted assault on Carolyn and Vicki (who is, by that point, his wife); Willie's mysterious disappearance and Roger's suspected involvement makes Jason that much more panicked, desperate, and correspondingly aggressive. Liz goes searching for the lost family jewels in a last-ditch attempt to buy Jason off, and, inadvertently, lets their ancient family sin out of the tomb.

ergo she's made Barnabas' thrall instead of Willie, but this goes unnoticed for a while — even though her brother would, in theory, recognize the signs, and his suspicions are raised, but she's already acting so much unlike herself with Jason around that he doesn't suspect anyone else of doing her harm. yet.

at the start, he and Barnabas get along very well, even before they discover their shared affliction: they're both relatively sophisticated, well-traveled, intelligent people, and for all that Roger decries Liz's emphasis on the Collins name, he leans towards familial connections instinctively (Roger hasn't got much in the way of friends outside of the house even in canon, and he's even more isolated as a vampire).

after he finds out Barnabas is also a vampire, things get a little more complicated, but overall, they're still friendly. Roger doesn't have much sympathy for Barnabas' relentless self-pity and decrying his doomed fate to live as a monster, because Roger on the whole enjoys his vampirism and has made a decent un-life for himself out of it (thanks in no small part to Vicki). but having someone like him around is a comfort in ways he wouldn't have expected, he's no longer solitary or uniquely monstrous out of the Collins family, he has someone else around through the night, and someone who understands the sufferings of bloodthirst and being shut out of the sun.

furthermore, Roger's very much interested in his family history and stories of the past, the building of Collinwood, Jeremiah's ships – and Barnabas was there. there's potential for some very interesting conversations about the past, and the arc of the Collins family history to the present, not to mention literature, travel, fashion, politics and the rest. Roger's his cousin's mirror in modernity in many ways, and that's something potentially interesting to explore: the world changes around them, but Collinses do not.

as an aside, they both have a funny sort of relationship to Burke. Barnabas hates him for his resemblance to Jeremiah and envies his friendship with Vicki and thinks he's crude, and Roger ... well. it's complicated. it's closer to antagonism than not, and Burke has tried to kill him once in this au, and Roger resents his flirting with Vicki, but then there's everything else with their past. so I don't think Barnabas' treatment of him would sit particularly well with Roger, he'd take the attitude of hey, only I can be a dick to Burke >:(

the definite fracture point is Barnabas imprinting on Vicki. Roger's already jealous and possessive by nature, and it's amplified by the supernatural nature of his relationship to Vicki (being closer, bodily and mentally; being necessary to each other; being, quite literally, sustenance) so he's already a little on edge when Barnabas starts paying attention to her, giving her presents, and appreciating the scenery — Barnabas doesn't, exactly, tend to have much in the way of moral inclination to leaving women alone when they have prior engagements, but it's fair to point out the irony of everything Roger was doing with his bloodbag governess when he was still very much a married man.

anyway: Roger finds foreign bite marks on his wife's neck, and he's understandably immensely upset by this. partially out of territorial sentiment, but he also knows Vicki, and he knows that she wouldn't have invited another vampire willingly — which means that she was forced, or hypnotized, or attacked in secret, and there's only the one potential suspect. this is already enough to lose his good will, but he might have been willing to let Barnabas go with a "hands off," had this discovery not lead to finding out what he'd also been doing to Liz. the combination of the two is unforgivable, and it's Barnabas' error to have made an enemy who is very personally aware of all his vampiric weaknesses, and Burke's already carved a stake.

[kaerinio]

at some point, i will write a thing about how dany embodies the triple goddess, how her various journeys and battles exist through this framework, how her external acceptance as the mother is so deeply tied to the divine archetype of the mother goddess (esp in terms of life, stability, power), and how this open embodiment of all three is recognized not only by dany, but others, as well. also . . . dany as maiden, mother, and crone speaking to followers of the seven is a thing that i need to explore. 👀

[captainjonnitkessler]

One of my more uncharitable thoughts is that sometimes the post-capitalism utopian commune people will be talking about how their community will handle conflict or scarcity and it feels like if you give them enough time, they'll eventually settle on "pretty much exactly what we have now but the people in charge will only do things I approve of"

[phagodyke]

grrr.... my boss came in and asked to talk to me for a moment and basically she was asking how I distinguish between production stock/my stock bc the stock/supply staff had insinuated to her that I'd been stealing their stock which I HAVEN'T!!!! I would never + my boss knows that but she still had to ask.... so annoying

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

That nosleep post about the lady who killed her husband who came back six months later is making me think things

[muninnhuginn]

Characters who've shed their old selves, taken on new identities to hide, but are always oh so aware of who they once were. Trying to divide themselves into a clear Before and an After, which leaves them unable to recognise themselves as a culmination of their past and their present. They can only look at themselves through distorted reflections. They try to distance themselves from others, to remain undiscovered and unknown, but always make connections regardless. Relationships with those who know them beyond their current persona, who can see which aspects of old and new are true when they themselves cannot.

[nabaath-areng]

I was planning to build new desktop this fall, but seeing that the winter half year practically chains me to bed making me incapable of sitting up I took some of my savings to get a laptop so I can have it in bed for drawing, writing etc at least. And so I'll save back up the coming months and build it once spring arrives instead (hopefully component prices has gone down then too)

All that to say I can only eat my hands as I catch glimpses of dawntrail news after having been ffxiv-less since july last year. my abstinence is out the roof

[bluehalla]

CHARACTER AESTHETICS - LYSIUS ✨🥀🍇 before and after the underworld

fields of asphodel by @chrysanthemumgames

info dump under the cut <3

lysius; ancient greek “loosener” “deliverer” “releaser” “destroyer” ; an epithet of dionysos used especially in thebes

personality; independent, quick-witted, clever, outspoken, kind, emotional, rebellious, sheltered, naïve, impulsive, self-conscious, vain, vindictive, secretly desperate for approval, stuck with a growing sense of self worth, obsessed with the idea of changing fate, master of masks, able to flip on a dime, laughing until you’re crying / crying until you’re laughing

appearance; bronzed skin, curly black hair, dark fathomless eyes, 5’7”, willowy, hidden smiles, knowing glances, feline-like movements, an aura that becomes more and more unsettling, smiling too big, something unhinged behind it, hands pricked from rose thorns, wine-stained lips, barefoot in the dirt, draped fabric to reveal skin, gold adornments, flashy accessories, simple linens only in the garden

skills; magic (chthonic, nature, destruction), persuasion & charm, singing, politics

relationships; bitter towards demeter, writes back and forth with aphrodite, used to have a childhood crush on but is now best friends with hermes, fascinated around and trains with hekate, upfront and snarky with alecto, playful with pyri, constantly trying to rile charon up (affectionate), uncomfortable around makaria but makes an effort, latches onto hades quickly before stepping back to gain independence and fall for him slower

choices; extremely sheltered bird-in-a-gilded-cage style, initially against the marriage, afraid to leave olympus since it's the only "home" they've ever known but eventually refuses to go back, terrible at physical combat but excels in magic, diligent and fills garden with flowers and fruit trees, works with the moirae, seeks out prayer and heals fields, incapacitates giant with hades' shared magic, tells eurydice how to escape the underworld to help her and orpheus get the half/half deal, shares pomegranate with hades

[eimearkuopio]

Or cry if it helps. But don't only cry. There are joyful and glorious mysteries as well as sorrowful ones. This is how you who have loved can love again; because it really is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and if you're not sure, I'm sorry but that wasn't True Love.

hey don't cry.... the world is charged with the grandeur of God, okay?

[foldingfittedsheets]

Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.

Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.

To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)

In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.

Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.

Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.

When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.

The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.

I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.

“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.

I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”

“Didn’t you check the notes?”

I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”

He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.

It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.

I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”

“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”

“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.

The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.